We all hear about this generation and that generation.  The Baby Boomers.  Generation X.  The Millennials.  I'm not even sure how to spell them all.  But I could never identify.  Am I a baby boomer?  Seems like I'm just barely too young for that.  Well then, I must be...whatever came after the Baby Boomers.  But that's not quite right either.  Seems we identify who we are by not only some "generational" term, but by the music we identify with.  Even there, I am in a quandry.  Maybe this whining is to say that there is "nothing" and yet "everything" that I identify with.  Go figure.  Go Fucking Figure.  Hey, maybe that's it.  Is there a "fucking" generation?  How about a "Fuck You" generation.  I dunno.  That sounds as good as anything to relate to.

What a wonderful thing, this blog.  When you need to tell "someone" you can literally tell the whole world.  Yet nobody logs on.  Nobody listens.  Nobody cares.  So your innermost fucked up fears are still safe.  I'm here because I'm desperate to tell someone how afraid and lonely I am.  To admit that the person who put me in this position is the one person I long for and miss so desperately.  How odd.  Today, I've had all the usual feelings.  Yet today I've also decided to blame myself.  Why, I'm not sure.  But, fucked up guy that I am, I'm not stupid.  Or am I?  How did this all happen when I didn't see it coming or know what was happening.  All I do see...is no end in sight.  I doubt I'll ever have the life that I've worked so hard for and wanted so desperately.  So I say to the Universe that seems to want to bend me over and make me squeal..."FUCK YOU.  FUCK YOU AND MOTHERFUCK YOU."